I am undone

I am undone, rearranged, rewoven after experiencing The Gift. How is it so - that three days can give so much? Three days only, and yet the very fabric of my being and my body feel different, as if new cells are growing, or dormant ones have awakened, remembering, swelling with promise and change. The Gift is a tonic, a remedy of guidance, that continues to unfold each day for me, changing the very nature of who I think I am. This is good. This is Goddess. Blessed be.

The Gift gave me a clearer, deeper, more embodied sense of what it means to be a woman on the Earth at this time. Though I have led circles of support and learning for women for years, and depend already on the Great Mother in my work and life, I learned new ways to see Her, be Her. I learned new levels of trusting my sexuality and my body to teach me, to gift me in my life. I learned how body experiences, witnessed and held, do not deceive, and are the gateway home to Self.

Something about the container of the Gift – the way it is held; the vision; the coordinated efforts of so many remarkable women; the experience and trust of the body’s wisdom; of the Great Mother Herself -- works an alchemy of magic and support I have not often experienced in workshops. I learned a lot about the strength of a container held by skillful guides, but allowed to form from the lives and gifts of the participants themselves. The power of women witnessing each other, weaving a web of support and exploration together, yet maintaining an individual focus, and self care within the collective experience, is truly tangible and real. Experiencing those days gave me great hope. If we can do this as women, we can do anything. Through witnessing and holding, through reconnection with the Great Mother, we can transform ourselves, our families and communities, our world.

I keep seeing the Goddess revealing Herself in each woman. I don’t think I have ever experienced Her so tangibly, so sensually, so multifaceted and alive. And yet the individual woman was not obliterated or lost in the face of such power. Quite the opposite. The unique beauty, pain and power of each woman showed up in the room too, like extraordinary threads, each different, each needed to help the Goddess manifest who she really is. It is this I have pondered deeply since my weekend. I have watched women reclaiming their connection to the Goddess, and longing for a time, now lost, when the powers of the Feminine were worshipped and revered. But I am uncomfortable with simply wanting to recover a matriarchal past, and bring it to the present. I feel we are different beings now, more individual in our consciousness, seeking our true natures, freedom and evolution. If we have changed and grown over these thousands of years, surely She has as well, for She and we are One. I want to find a way to reap the gifts of individuation while reclaiming my Matrix, so I can co-create with a transformed Goddess for healing and evolutionary change. I saw the seeds of this possibility in the work of The Gift. I think that is why I felt such hope and love.

And, oh, how delicious to watch women be authentic and real in their bodies, to watch them transform pain into joy and struggle into ease. Or not. Whatever showed up seemed perfect for each woman in the moment. I learned again to trust my own process and truth, and to trust my life and my Rite to give me what I most needed and desired.

Ah, desire! As the days unfolded, we swelled sweet and golden, laden with honey and the murmur of bees. It is my prayer that every woman taste this Gift somehow in their lives. For She is ours to know and love. She is our Birthright.

Lucinda Herring February 2002