How would my life be different?

Here is something I wrote recently at a friend's suggestion that I respond as a man to the question posed in Judith's Duerks Book, 'Circle of Stones' in which she asks women, 'How would your life be different if there had been an older woman there for you as you grew into womanhood, to sit with you as you journeyed into your darkness, or pain or sorrow?'
This is it from one man's perspective. It's not the best or deepest writing, but it may one day bear tastier fruit and I thought there might be something valuable in it for you.

 

How would my life be different if I had had an older woman to sit with me through my darkness?

I would know the echo of my own voice in the inner chamber of a loving heart.
I could feel in my own heart the effects of my words and actions on others.
I could feel the heart of the Great Mother Earth and experience the pain of its breaking against our hardness.
I could feel in my own heart the suffering of those forgotten by the NASDAQ Index and the anguish of those who know it will never fill their souls.
I would know it is O.K. for men to cry, even when we smash our thumbs with hammers, and even in public.
I would remember that I don't have to solve every problem, salve every wound, fix everything that is broken.
I would know that my soul is more important than my resume or my net worth.
I would recognize the pure beauty of my creative bursts and follow their leads
I would understand the futility of setting perfection as the minimum standard.
I would know that it is acceptable to get angry, and that I do not have to hurt anyone when I am.
I would know how to iron a dress shirt, and fold a sweater.
I would understand that I will experience failures and that they do not measure my worth.
I would breathe more deeply and often than I do.
My jaw would be relaxed.
I would revere all life as the blessed creation of the sacred mother.
I would know that violence solves nothing.
I would know that a moment of silence will bring surer guidance than a faculty of advisors.
I would know that the Love I put into my projects is more important than their conformity to target market demographics.
I would know that what our children want the most is for us to hear what they are saying.
I would know that humble and selfless service is never demeaning, but is the surest path to divinity.
I would know that growing old uncovers treasures more valuable than the shining gems of youth.
I would never use another person for my own personal gain or pleasure.
I would not take more than I really need.
I would have a solid foundation for loving myself even when questioned or reviled by others.
I would know that taking care of my own needs is critical to my ability to truly care for others.
I would be comfortable following the guidance of my inner voice even if I don't know exactly where it is leading me.
I would not be in such a hurry.
I would not have tried to grow up so fast.
I would honor, rather than fear, the dark, wet mystery of the divine feminine.
I would not try to understand women, but revel in the delights and challenges they bring me.
I would know how to love a woman until her heart bursts with joy, and know how to allow a woman's love to burst my own heart.
I would know that true masculinity tempers strength and force with compassion and holds its awesome power in abeyance.
I would know that so tempered with compassion, I would neither abuse my masculine urges and drives, nor fear their fullest expression.
I would be comfortable not knowing all the answers.
I would know the importance of exploring and loving my darkest behaviors and desires.
I would know that so loved, the dark would bring immeasurable texture and passion to my work in the light.
I would know that so loved, my dark side would never shoot up a church full of children.
I would not fear ridicule if I evoked spirit or the Goddess in the business world.
I would always stop what I am doing to listen to my children.
I would know that the full embrace of Love is the only way to return the seemingly loveless to the ways of Love.
I would know that hatred, even hatred of hatred, can never breed Love.
I would know there is no act I cannot forgive; no act for which I cannot receive forgiveness; no act for which I cannot forgive myself.
I would know that forgiving myself is necessary to fully making amends to those I have hurt.
I would know that pain and anguish and grief will find me and that allowing myself the time and space to feel them is necessary to my healing.
I would know how to make a proper cup of tea.
I would not leave my shoes in the living room or a towel on the doorknob.
I would know how to accept a compliment or gift with grace.
I would know how to express gratitude genuinely.
I would have the courage to speak the truth regardless of the consequences.
I would not hold myself to unrealistic expectations, and would be satisfied with my best efforts.
I would speak and act in the long-term best interests of all life, even if it means short-term loss for me.
I would honor the talents and achievements of others without feeling jealous or perceiving them as mirrors of my own lack.
I would enjoy the ache of deep desires, even when I cannot perceive the means of fulfilling them.
I would fall into the arms of spirit, even when I am not sure there is anyone or anything there to catch me.
I would relax.